Ten Year Anniversary

For the past two weeks, I’ve been writing about my recollection of what, for me, is the 10-year anniversary of one of the most special, exciting, and influential periods of my own life. This revolved mostly around my search for love and finding my true “it girl.” I had really decided I was ready, and so put a lot of time and effort into the process of finding my “one.” However, I never intended, nor expected, to find the relationship I did along the way with the city of New York.

My post on Friday was written as the conclusion of this story, for the time being, recounting what was the beginning of a long journey of dates in New York City. However, my main purpose, as I’d been describing throughout this five-part series, has been to try to place emphasis on the upcoming 10-year anniversary of September 11th. I found myself in a weird position writing the final installment of In Search of “The One” this past Friday, as I mentioned in the blog itself- here I am writing about this extremely serious and heavy topic on the very day of unmitigated Royal celebration and ceremony (not exactly the right mood).

But, that’s just where the ongoing story was, so I tried my best to honor the significance of my lower Manhattan experience, and how it impacted September 11th for me, while recognizing that my topic for the day was a bit out-of-sync with the light and joyful vibe of the Royal Wedding. As an aside, my normal Friday post actually went up Saturday due to technical issues, but I simply went ahead with the blog that was written, one day delayed.

As out-of-sync as my Friday/Saturday post seemed at the time, in about the most random way I can imagine, by Sunday night, the very same topic became unexpectedly relevant. I started the weekend feeling like I needed to “apologize” in some way for my storyline at the time, having come to the deeply contemplative subject of the events of September 11th, 2001. Those events became inextricably tied to the memories and experiences of my summer and fall 2001 dating trek throughout Manhattan.

Somehow, by the end of the same weekend that began with worldwide Royal Frivolity, the public awareness and conversation has switched to 9/11 and Osama Bin Laden. I was simply writing about my own personally meaningful 10-year anniversary of those early dates in New York, which led to the admittedly oddly timed September 11th storyline of the past 2 weeks. I knew it wasn’t particularly relevant to anyone but me. Clearly, the beginning of May and the playful mood of summertime wouldn’t normally go with the somber state of mind of September 11th.

But, as I mentioned a few times throughout these five installments of In Search of “The One,” I had two purposes to this particular subject:

1) To tell the story of, and help me to appreciate, this personally meaningful anniversary in my own dating history.
2) My attempt to bring attention to the upcoming 10-year anniversary of September 11th, which for me was such a fundamental part of that entire summmer of dating.

Given that I had literally never visited New York as an adult, and knew absolutely nothing about the city going in, developing a relationship with this amazing place was a truly unexpected blessing for me. I felt all throughout that first summer- and still feel- extremely fortunate to have somehow stumbled into this. As a result, my own experience of that Tuesday in September was deeply impacted, given that I had a completely different knowledge of locations and people throughout New York than I had prior to that summer.

For today, I’d like to leave you with a specific event that happened during the weekend after Tuesday, September 11th. I realize, right at this moment, there’s a broad social consciousness of those terrible and painful days, as this weekend ended so differently than it began. The news of the death of Osama Bin Laden brought people’s attention quickly from Royal pomp and circumstance to national pride, intense anger, and profound and sad memories.

In the interest of that, I’d like to relay this one particular story. I had felt such a compelling need to just be “in” New York in those days after. I wasn’t sure whether I would actually even be able to enter the city. However, it somehow worked out that one woman I was going to see for a first date was a very depth-oriented person, and we both felt there would be genuine purpose in meeting, talking about these events, and attending the candle-lighting ceremony that was scheduled that Saturday evening in Central Park.

I will save the intensity and fuller description of this for another time, as my main point is what happened soon after, on the streets of the Upper East Side. The candle-lighting was truly peaceful and deeply reflective (clearly for almost every person there), and it represented the mood of complete civility and thoughtfulness that had permeated virtually every facet of life in America for those days that followed.

As she and I were walking on Third Avenue, trying to find a place to get some food and continue our conversation, we heard, for the first time that whole day in New York (and for me the first time the whole week everywhere else) a break in the civility- “honk honk, honk, yell, yell, expletive.” At that moment, I turned to my date and said, “Well, that’s it-it just ended. The moratorium is over.” (sigh)

I know it’s not that simple, and there are so many reasons for this, but in some ways it was simple and clear. This form of deep, thoughtful, open, kindness- one that I’d never seen before on such a universal level- I (and we all) witnessed constantly during those five days in September. I knew the kind of commitment we as humans need to maintain that type of mindset is extremely fleeting, and would require people to keep thinking about things they typically don’t want to think about. Still, I’d hoped it might have lasted a bit longer.

Even with such a terrible, terrible reason, I couldn’t help but feel that the world was a better place during those five days. Can you remember what you were doing at this time in 2001? As the summer season was getting in full swing, we all had “pre-September 11th” lives- how do you feel your own life or perspective is different today? Is there something we might take from that period of moratorium that can be used to build on?

I’ve written a more thorough piece on this subject previously, if you may care to read it. It appeared on this past Martin Luther King Day, and was entitled “The Meaning of Life.” Although “100 to One” is overall a book about relationships, I can’t help but think that this particular aspect of human behavior deserves a very strong place in the conversation…even without such a clear reminder as that provided by the news of Bin Laden. I hope to help nurture that dialogue in the weeks and months to come- I hope you’ll join me.

And, just to say, as I’m sure so many people feel throughout our country and the world- great job- to the President and the entire strategic and military team involved- we thank you. I think many would agree with me when I say, this is the appropriate outcome. One small step in a large battle, but a very meaningful step nonetheless.